Copyright 2011 Theresa Harvard Johnson
(Part II is located here.)
Note To The Reader: This message is a hard one for leadership to receive, and not really an easy one to write. Truly, Holy Spirit had to guide my pen. It will make some people angry – and become an offense to them. It is, however, written in love and with an earnest desire to continue to see the Body healed.
So often as leaders we talk about what is wrong with sheep and what the sheep need – forgetting that we are all SHEEP and all in need of a savior … daily. There is also a discussion that we must have that is MUCH LIKE what the Lord brings before leadership in passages like Jeremiah 23 and Ezekiel 6, 7 & 8. That discussion surrounds leading God’s people with a right heart and a right spirit.
It’s rare that Holy Spirit has me write about things that I haven’t personally participated in or experienced. I often like to point that out OTHERWISE teachings can become self righteous for some — as we are all in different places of spiritual maturity. In this hour, the Lord has been speaking to me immensely about the NEED TO RESPECT the privacy of others ESPECIALLY when we are in positions in which we may lead or mentor them. This place of privacy is not about “KEEPING SECRETS” but it is about loving one another as Father sees it; respecting where people are in their walk with the Lord and HONORING them as our sisters and brothers in Christ. Whether a person is a leader or not, EVERYONE should be respected and honored through the character of Christ. In this series of articles, we are talking about the devastating affects of breaking the confidence of sheep through gossip.
This particular article is PART I, and it sets the foundation for this teaching. It is important to note that we are talking about “GOSSIP” in this post. We are NOT talking about necessary “accountability” in the midst of meeting the needs of God’s people. For example, it is not gossip to share something spoken in the midst of a counseling session, deliverance service or other situation that could potentially cause HARM to those involved in that situation or prove destructive or disruptive in any way. It is NOT GOSSIP to disclose certain information to your elder board, leadership or others that could potentially IMPACT the church in an ungodly way or leave you in a vulnerable position. In part II, we will walk through this CLEARLY to distinguish what Father wants to convey here. Father, have your way.
Further, this post is in NO WAY regarding anyone or anything associated with Voices of Christ or any people connected now or previously to this ministry. I have to say this as people will make all kinds of assumptions when reading teachings like this. In fact, I have been studying this issue out for years. My mentor has been instrumental in bringing me great understanding concerning confidentiality — as she has practiced this diligently in her 30 plus years of ministry in the healing of those who have been physically, sexually and emotionally abused.
I am writing this article series because I know that there are MANY who need understanding in this, but can’t find any good resources to help aid them in gaining clarity. I pray that you are blessed by this teaching series.
Introduction
Some time ago, the Lord released me to stand in a place of repentance through intercession for shepherds/leaders, especially those over churches or ministries that spiritually cover others, who have devalued and disrespected the people they were sent to nurture, equip and restore by breaking their confidence through gossip — casual kitchen conversation about their most PERSONAL pain and struggles. In some cases, these people may have even been slandered — spreading their personal pain and struggles to discredit them and ruin their reputation.
I also had to repent for myself first. You see, Father is not in the business of bringing conviction from a one-sided perspective. We are yet subjected to the judgment of the double-edged sword, the biblical principle of plucking one’s OWN EYE before heading for the eye of our brothers. In my own life, I’ve given Holy Spirit permission to keep me accountable in this area not only as a minister, but as my sister or brother’s keeper.
I have also experienced the devastating effects of this personally, and now stand with those wounded saints in need of healing. It’s time, people of God to come HIGHER. It’s time to truly walk in a convicting, compassionate, brother’s keeper kind-of-love for one another.
Leviticus 19:16 CJB says, “16 “‘Do not go around spreading slander among your people, but also don’t stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is at stake; I am ADONAI.”
I want to stop here briefly to say that not only is slander sinful, but we are not to tolerate or dwell in agreement when we see someone else being murdered with words. Look at the emphasis at the end of this statement. The Lord said, “I AM GOD!” This is a command of love for us.
James 3:1-3 CJB says, “1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, since you know that we will be judged more severely. 2 For we all stumble in many ways; if someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who can bridle his whole body. 3 If we put a bit into a horse’s mouth to make it obey us, we control its whole body as well.”
Proverbs 11:13 CJB says, “A gossip goes around revealing secrets, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”
I am convinced that walking as a teacher and/or preacher of God’s Word is a very high position to hold among among the body. It has very little to do with knowledge; and every thing to do with holiness, wisdom, self control and most importantly, understanding the love of God.
To DEVALUE someone is to reduce or underestimate their worth or importance. It is to place yourself on a higher plateau “above” them — thinking you are beyond reproach in light of another person’s brokenness or sin-state. In some way or another, I believe we have all experienced the crushing effects of being devalued in our lives. But I tell you, there’s a deeper pain when that devaluing comes from spiritual leaders. I know I have over the years — as people laughed at my “literary” ministry, love for poetry and spoken word. I even had a pastor say once that “this poetry thing” wasn’t real ministry. But for me, being a babe, it was ALL I HAD! Just look at this ministry today!
To be DISRESPECTED means to be insulted, looked upon or viewed as a fool or imbecile. It is to “dismiss” them or to completely ignore their contributions and value in any given situation. In other words, it is the failure to see others the way God sees them — as Kings and Priests, Sons. It is to see them as having LESS VALUE than perhaps one might consider themselves to have. It is also discounting the value that a person might place on something that actually means a lot to them.
Our definition for gossip is the one rooted in the Word of God in James 3. It is the inability of a person to “tame their tongue.” The end result is that they talk about and interject their feelings into everything they hear or receive in confidence or in casual conversation. I have to address this subject just as surely as the Lord has caused me to walk through prayers of repentance concerning it, and the rending of my heart to him so that I am aligned.
It takes HOLY SPIRIT working in us CONTINUOUSLY to keep us on our toes in this area — as NO LEADER is immune to falling prey to gossip no matter how HOLY they may perceive themselves to be. Come on now! Father reminded me that I made a vow to Him some time ago. That vow was that I would NEVER evolve into a bird of prey – hurting his people by breaking their confidence and trust through gossip. As a result, He has given me specific strategies in my own life to avoid this trap of the enemy.
When I look at my spiritual sons and daughters today: I SHIVER at the thought of the devastation that a breech of sacred trust could bring. I think of how much this would grieve my Father. After all, God brought the relationship so that I could build them up, love them, nurture them in the things of God, offer wise counsel and prayer support. (James 5:16 CJB) He did not bring us together for me to smile in their faces and tear them down behind the scenes – no matter what the circumstances are/were.
These are God’s people, ARE HIS beloved children. Don’t you know that Father wants ALL US to be whole, blessed and loved! He wants all of us to be safe in the presence of brethren. We draw strength from one another — not evil!
Why Is This Important
We are ambassadors of Jesus Christ going out into the world on HIS behalf. For some people, we are THE ANSWER THROUGH GOD to a long awaited quest to be made whole. I am saying that the Lord wants to use us (leaders) to help others along the way. We preach and teach Christ’s message of love. We invite people into our homes and show them love. We minister the Gospel to them in love. We pray for God’s people in love, and even stand with them in whatever capacity we can as the Lord leads. It’s only natural that they grow to love their leaders and trust the God in them implicitly with the care of their souls according to the Word of God. Coming to love a leader in the Lord is a MAJOR STEP in the lives of some people who have struggled so desperately with TRUST.
After all, these leaders are here to fulfill the work of the ministry in the hearts of men. (Read the passage on the Good Shepherd. Study out the example of Christ’s life for leadership. John 10:1-18) They are continuing where CHRIST HIMSELF left off! Like John, who laid his head on the breast of Christ…. some leaders will have access to some very personal and private information about the sheep entrusted to them. GOD FORBID… if we misuse that…
Father told me this once: “Theresa, I am God. If I wanted everyone to know your personal affairs, I’d tell them myself.”
I thought about that, and I realized Father was telling me something very important. People of God, please hear this. At “ANY TIME” He can release a word of wisdom, a word of knowledge or even the Word of the Lord concerning us to anyone he chooses with such specifics that we would recognize His visitation through that word.
On the same note, He also protects us by choosing NOT TO REVEAL things to others that are unnecessary to protect us from the WAYS OF MEN. Catch that people of God…
There were times when I need guidance in my walk with the Lord. I wanted to trust the wisdom that was around me, but it got to a point in that relationship when the leader couldn’t HOLD WATER — at least not concerning me. Everything I shared in confidence, somehow found its way to the lips of others… for discussion.
One time, I recall asking them “if they could keep this between us.” Why? Because, I wanted to trust my leader, obtain counsel and be able to speak freely as I continued to grow in the things of the Lord. I was still a babe. That leader said to me, “I can’t promise you that,” and laughed. Now, I wasn’t trying to discuss anything inappropriate. I only wanted to get counsel in the area of my marriage, family, ministry or myself personally. Remember, there are times when confidentiality must be broken! But for the most part, many of the things we counsel people concerning have no merit to ANYONE other than you as the shepherd, the person receiving the counsel and most of all, the Lord.
You see, IF THE LORD himself refuses to break confidence, engage in frivolous conversation and gossip; then HOW MUCH MORE is expected of us! When Father knits his people to MENTORS, SHEPHERDS and SPIRITUAL LEADERS He creates a spiritual bond that purports HEALING, RESTORATION, SPIRITUAL MATURITY & GROWTH! Those spiritual relationships, as Jesus told us, can be STRONGER than any relationship in the natural. Look at his relationship with the disciples. Check out Moses and Joshua; Naomi and Ruth, Esther and Mordecai and countless others. What would the lives of their mentees been like if they couldn’t have trusted their spiritual walk — the God inside them whom they represented.
People of God, this is important because when that CONFIDENTIALITY – that place of safety, protection and trust – is broken IN THIS VERY DISRESPECTFUL AND INCONSIDERATE WAY, it can cause that person to not only break their trust in leadership, the community of the saints – but also their relationship in God.
YOU CAN KILL SOMEONE’S SPIRIT BY BREAKING CONFIDENTIALITY! I had some VERY SERIOUS trust issues when I came to the Lord as do many of God’s people. He brings them into himself to heal those places! I learned that those trust issues spilled over into every relationship in my life and I didn’t know why. It was HARD for me to trust anyone. There were even people in my life who assumed I should be able to trust them SIMPLY BECAUSE of the passing of time, and the depth of the relationship. In other words, they felt like I distrusted them STILL… and truthfully, I did.
What Father showed me was that my “distrust” was rooted in places of deep, deep hurt that went FURTHER than just being upset when a confidence was broken. It was deeper than “a person” or “a situation.” This place of distrust was actually a REVEALING BY HOLY SPIRIT of brokenness resulting from legitimate trauma from my past. MY DISTRUST DID NOT NECESSARILY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND ME!
You see, there are things that you have gone through in your life that was NO FAULT of your own. You didn’t cause it. You didn’t initiate it. But you were a VICTIM OF IT! And that thing BROKE SOMETHING in you that the Lord wants HEALED AND MADE WHOLE. Many people will tell you, “They don’t know why it is hard for them to trust the God in their husbands, pastors, mentors, leaders, etc.” But Holy Spirit KNOWS! OH HE KNOWS!
A leaders ability to respect the confidentiality of a mentee, spiritual son or daughter can run deep! So when a leader “in a position of trust” upholds that TRUST & CONFIDENTIALITY then the person entrusted to them begins to heal — gaining greater trust in the Word, God as Father and the healing power of community.
As little or as small as a broken confidence may seem to you, it can BE DEVASTATING to those in your care. It can be the straw that completely breaks the spirit of one of God’s children. It’s easy to say, “They’ll get over it or it’s not a big deal.” But I tell you, how much more beautiful is it to “allow God” to work in you to touch their lives in a positive way. Living in a way that TRANSFORMS them.
Psalm 34:18 CJB says it best: 18 ADONAI is near those with broken hearts; he saves those whose spirit is crushed.
Leaders, always remember that those whom you shepherd are seen as “children” in your care before God. We are children of God, Sons of God… and HE CARES how we treat them. We have HOLY SPIRIT on the inside of us and can ASK HIM to help us TAME OUR TONGUES and PURGE OUR HEARTS.
Father, HATES to see His children hurt. Remember the debtor that was forgiven for his debt; but who refused to extend the same compassion on a man who was indebted to him? We are not supposed to be that way? (Matthew 18:20-25)
A person can be 70 years old and be a child in the care of their shepherd — as he or she pours spiritually sound things into them. Even they are seen as ARROWS BEING SHOT FORTH in the realm of the spirit. Imagine this for a minute? Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you what is being shared here! I do not come to hurt anyone with this message, but to extend the hand of love through Messiah, my Lord and redeemer.
We don’t know what people have been through… and when they come to us, they come READY for all that God has for them — not to be set deeper into their brokenness! Today, if you need to repent… I implore you to do so. Don’t let your ministry be one in which brass and clanging cymbals shine forth instead of the love of God. This subject is DEAR to our Father in this hour.
PART II: When Leadership Breaks Confidentiality: God Promises Healing
