Copyright 2013 Theresa Harvard Johnson
(This post is written specifically for seasoned leaders who have been seeking the Lord for strategies to keep order within the ministries entrusted to them. So as you read it, do so within the context of what has been entrusted to you personally, not from the perspective of the body as a whole — even though some elements relate to this. This series is intended to identify and expose a subtle attack that the enemy is using in this hour to bring division and distort authority in the midst of core leadership groups. At its conclusion, we will also look at how to guard what Father has entrusted to us. Christ maintained the proper relationship with his disciples – with each one of them, outside of the son of perdition, knowing their relational boundaries and navigating humbly within them. It is with this respect and honor that I share what the Lord has been teaching me personally in this area. I pray that it blesses your soul.)
The Foundation: Defining Respect
The atmosphere in which we practice our faith has been so watered down in these last days that very few people understand what it means to respect leadership, respect mantles or even to respect one another. We can see this clearly in homes where children tend to run the household; and parents break and bend at their child’s every beck and call. You can see the struggle in trying to figure out who is the parent and who is the child.
In the atmosphere of the congregation you can see it in fathering, mothering, shepherding and mentoring relationships. People come to be taught but are unwilling to bend into the mantle of a student.
Father has been ministering to me deeply about how the adversary is pouring the cup of division among the people of God. In this hour, there is an intrinsic, diabolical attack on Godly relationships – especially those centered around the “making disciples process” and the non-bondage centered mentoring, fathering and mothering relationships in the Spirit (Matthew 28:18-20; 1 Corinthians 4:15).
(You may also check out this series: The Devastating Effects of Approaching Leadership Casually and The Re-Emergence of Diotrephes)
What I am referring to here is not one of those “do-what-I-say or follow-the-leader-blindly-because-I-am-the-pastor” conversations. Instead, it is of the most foundational understandings of the word “respect” which indicates that we are to “regard one another with compassion, kindness and loving consideration” regardless of relationship level. In other words, everyone – by our Father’s standards – is due this kind of respect. For the sake of this conversation, let’s keep this definition in this simplistic view. The Apostle Paul defines respect this way:
Philippians 2:1-6 CJB: 1 Therefore, if you have any encouragement for me from your being in union with the Messiah, any comfort flowing from love, any fellowship with me in the Spirit, or any compassion and sympathy, 2 then complete my joy by having a common purpose and a common love, by being one in heart and mind. 3 Do nothing out of rivalry or vanity; but, in humility, regard each other as better than yourselves – 4 look out for each other’s interests and not just for your own. 5 Let your attitude toward one another be governed by your being in union with the Messiah Yeshua: 6 Though he was in the form of God, he did not regard equality with God something to be possessed by force.
In other words, our character in Messiah is one in which we follow his pattern of greeting, meeting, approaching, engaging or walking with those we are spiritually intimate with in ministry. To understand this premise, take a closer look at his relationships with the original 12, with Lazarus, Mary, Martha and others. There was a mutual respect between them – each person (mentor and student), for the most part, walking in the Godly boundaries of those relationships.
Identifying the Problem of Disrespect
To keep from casting our nets out to far, I’m going to focus on intimate relationships here. Specifically, godly relationships in which a person has come boldly and asked: Will you mentor me or can you teach me in this area? Long term or short term, it doesn’t matter. In other words, this person is saying that the mentor is more experienced or more knowledgeable in a particular area and is now helping guide that mentee who has less experience or less knowledge in that area.
I am in no way addressing “forced mentorship” – that place where presumptuous mentors claim others unaware or try to force mentorship upon them simply by placing them in rigorous, intellectual, boxed up categories. It is one thing to ask God where people belong in your life, but it is quite another to force them there. The only type of relationship where forced mentorship can be common practice is when it involves parent and child (not grown children); or caregiver and mentee for the most part.
The problems leaders are facing in the body today involve the former: Those relationships that are mutual and healthy. As a result, it is critical that each person – not just the mentor – seek God concerning how to be “present” – meaning actively participating in the spirit of Christ – in midst of those relationships.
Disrespect enters in on the part of the mentee when there is absolutely no godly value placed in the authority of the mentor. In other words, they do what they want, say what they want and treat those leaders how they want – without apology. Their leaders have become so common to them, so familiar that they begin writing their “own training program.”
Now, many will read this and scream! They will say that this is completely unbiblical. But people of God, there is a teacher-student relationship in the midst of mentorship, teaching and training. There is a parent-child relationship in the midst of a family. There is an employer-employee relationship on the workforce. There are protocols and guidelines that govern appropriate and inappropriate interactions EVEN among shepherds and disciples in the Body.
When a person has mutually agreed to be in a mentorship relationship, they abdicate their role as “leader” and take on the mantle of “student.”
Father is grieved over many of the things taking place in the midst of the congregation today. And one of the greatest of those is the mistreatment of those he has sent in “truth and love” to equip the Body. The premise behind this passage of scripture is not dead:
1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 CJB says, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who are working hard among you, those who are guiding you in the Lord and confronting you in order to help you change.Treat them with the highest regard and love because of the work they are doing.”
This issue of respect is not about “asking for special treatment” or showing some kind of weird patronage or honor. There is absolutely no doubt that the idea of “respect and honor” has been twisted in many circles. Please know that this is not what we are talking about here.
Disrespect, in its most basic sense, is the blatant, obvious disregard of godly authority. It is prideful rebellion that can lead to an ungodly uprising or insurgence in its targeted environments. For example, children who curse their parents out from the top of the Sequoia tree to the bottom – whether provoked or unprovoked are acting in rebellion. It is the complete lack of honor for another’s home when you are a “guest” in that home. It is the overstepping of one’s role or boundaries in the midst of relationship.
For example, if you are in a college classroom you are under the authority of the professor in that classroom. You wouldn’t just get up and begin teaching those students from your personal perspective without the express permission or release of that professor would you? You are a line worker in a factory. You wouldn’t simply start directing the line because you thought your way was better would you or just walk up and tell everyone to go home?
You are a part of a local art school taught by a worthy teacher. You wouldn’t start passing out flyers and promoting another school “right in the middle of a class or even after the class” would you?
People of God, if we refuse to do these things in the system of this world then why would we do them among the Body of believers? Are we that in-sensitive among the Body of believers?
Every single day, many of us abide by the protocols of the systems of this world. We sign confidentiality agreements, non-compete agreements, show up for work every day and WOULD NEVER promote Pepsi Products in a Coca Cola factory but we think nothing of committing similar acts against one another – including our mentors and leaders.
It’s time that we confronted the elephant-in-the-room, and cleaned house. It’s time to rise up and declare that WE WILL TEACH ABOUT PROTOCOL, SPIRITUAL PROTOCOL among the body in this hour. There are too many cracks in the door.
As you continue to read this series, don’t get caught up in the examples… but ask Holy Spirit to reveal the principles in the midst as we walk this out through the Word.
Part II: What does disrespect look like? Rebellion.
In Part II, we will take a closer look at “Recognizing, Confronting & Dealing With Blatant Disrespect” in the midst of our ministries.
