Copyright 2015 Theresa Harvard Johnson
There are families like the Duggars’ all across America. You might be sitting across from them in your local church or standing in line with them at the local grocery store. That family just might be your own.
The situation surrounding the Duggars’ might sound rare, but it is not. Child sexual abuse among siblings is quite common. The Duggars’ are in the spotlight right now because they are “famous” and the feelings of their “fans” – who put them on a pedastal and entered into idolatry – have been hurt. (Listen, I understand what it is like to believe in someone you’ve watched on television. But the reality of what is happening is still relevant.) So instead of facing broader issues in the midst of this media sensation, some people follow the crowd and take sides on who they believe; and why this or that was handled a certain way by the family. In the end, the media gets what it wants: more views, attention and even more advanced opportunities to attack our faith in Christ. Listen, we don’t have to participate in that.
Quite frankly, the believing community should be fed up with this conversation (as it relates to its repetitive direction) and shift its attention to support for the girls who were sexually assaulted and advocating for others who may be in very similar situations. Most survivors of sexual abuse would rather see this entire “conversation die” — and the focus shift on prosecution and/or healing. Unfortunately, victims of child sexual abuse, child rape or child sodomy rarely get justice or even have a voice at all in the conversation — rather family members, society either blames them, focus their anger on them, and do nothing to protect them or others from their perpetrator.
All of this in-fighting – so-to-speak – that we are witnessing across social media is powerless to bring the kind of change in a survivors life and in our society where it is needed. These past few days have been PHENOMENAL TIMES for the CHURCH & FAMILIES to bring child protection to the forefront. These are the discussion we need. As a strong advocate in this arena, I have read so much misconception, myths and outright miss-information relating to what child sexual abuse is — much less how it is interpreted by law. The definition might amaze some people. (What is child sexual abuse?)
It breaks my heart to see so many “Disciples” of Christ argue over guilt or innocence, what the parents did right or wrong, and completely overlook the “elephant in the room” which screams: “Is my child, grandson, niece, nephew or God-son safe?” If a television personality and the fairy-tale view presented to us through a reality television series can have this much impact, HOW MUCH MORE impact can we have if all our voices are amplified on child sexual abuse awareness, prevention and focused on getting these pediphiles and child molestors off the street — out of our homes and churches.
Wow. We really need to look at this… and at our conversation. Listen, look around your social networking community or the coffee table conversations this week, think about all the opportunities we have had to get some “solid” information on how to be a solution to this global issue.
People of God, this is way more of a reality… than the debates we are having about this family. I’ve heard debates so strong concerning this issue that people have lost friendship over a “television show” about people “whom they have never met.” As a Christ-believing community, do you see something wrong with this? I do, on many levels.
Instead of fighting the Duggars or friends and strangers about the Duggars, why not fight for our children? We will NEVER agree on opinions about what has taken place OR NEVER know the whole truth, but EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING that will not only honor the victims in this atrocious situation but encourage others walking through similar trials, situations or circumstances. Pastors, leaders, congregations…. do your part consistently.
Why not use a Sunday morning to talk about the realities of child sexual abuse, to let parents and children know that it is okay to disclose? Why not sit down with our families – especially if you watched the show together – and talk with your children about rape, sexual assault and child molestation. It’s funny how we think these topics are too heavy, yet according to the nationally published stats 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 4 boys are sexually abused in the United States. Why won’t we talk about the fact that people who commit crimes against animals often get more time in jail than a child molester?
Even if we discuss what is happening in the Dugger family, it should really disturb each one of us THAT THE LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES DID NOT FOLLOW PROPER PROTOCOL. As a parent this scares me deeply.
Listen, our conversations at this point are SURFACE as a believing community. We are allowing the media to dictate what we should concern ourselves with and what we should pay attention to in this hour. From a prayer, spiritual warfare and intercessory focus, we are being cleverly “distracted” by the nightmare that the Duggars are in and overlooking the most important part of this conversation: OUR CHILDREN.
People of God, how can we make a difference in the life of a child? How can we STOP pedophiles and child molesters from hiding? How can we expose the evil that has plagued the Catholic Church, the COGIC, PENN State, the Boy Scouts of America and numerous other organizations where these evil abusers live and thrive! How can we help organizations and leaders like Angela Williams and VOICE TODAY have a greater voice of awareness, education and prevention in our homes, communities, government and our faith-based communities?
Let me tell you, the very places where our children are supposed to be safe are the main avenues where pediphiles and child molesters hide. Many of you know this personally through your own stories of horrible sexual abuse at the hands of someone you trusted, maybe even your own brother or sister.
If we are going to FIGHT, let us fight for what’s real. Let us fight for our children. Let us help them live healthy lives instead of walking out this long-list of AFFECTS that sometimes take a life-time to overcome: The Effects of Child Sexual Abuse. Let us talk about how you can identify a sexually abused child and or a predator. Yes, there are warning signs! Better yet, let us talk about how SILENT our societies are about child sexual abuse and how people are more likely to protect an abuser from an accusation way before they would protect a child.
Yes, I know some of you are “hurt” by the Duggars whom you really did not know except via a television broadcast. But I guarantee that you know a whole lot of people like the daughters in that family who were victimized. Reality is that no family is perfect. Reality in the midst of our faith says, “God is still on the throne and Holy Spirit is yet in the earth.”
While it is day, let us do our part. I beg you to stop focusing on the Duggars, God’s got them. Trust me, that family is probably suffering at levels we cannot begin to fathom. Discussions like the ones circulating in some faith-based circles just add gasoline to the fire. Another question that EVERYONE should want to answer is this: “What should I do if this happens in my family, ministry, church, organization, etc.?” Let us do our part in helping families, children and communities who need our help NOW. We need to make sure “our families” as well as the “families of children we love” are safe.
Start there with awareness, education and letting your children know that it is okay to tell if they have been sodomized, raped, touched inappropriately, been made uncomfortable by inappropriate suggestions, or even if someone has allowed a child (anyone under the age of 18 by the way) view pornography or live sex acts. Find out what the proper reporting practices are as it relates to child sexual abuse. The law is very clear in some states, but the average person does not know what their responsibility is in that – even in the home. It’s never too early to start age appropriate teachings — less you find yourself in a situation similar to the Duggars. Listen, I believe God uses situations like this to teach us when they happen, not divide us. There’s a lot we can learn from this situation as a community. Rise up…
