Copyright 2016 Theresa Harvard Johnson
There are five things I wish young men and women would consider or take to heart when conidering marriage:
(1) Desire a spouse who has big dreams and visions — and can make solid choices and clear goals to pursue them. You may watch them struggle and fail before they succeed, but you will find a passion in them that “won’t settle” for anything less than what they SEE ahead of them. This could be an indication that they will never settle for mediocre, ordinary or ever get comfortable with life as it is. When submitted to the Lord, you will live the life of a “wise” dreamer — always in search for more, better. This is invaluable in the life you will share!
(2) Desire a spouse who has VISION – business, ministry, life, etc! Seek someone with eyes on their FUTURE and yours — especially as it relates to you and your future family. It means that YOU may have found someone who will always look, search, dig… and mine for ways to make this life better for the two of you and your family. While this is related to point number 1, please know that SEEING AHEAD is distinctly different from having VISION. Many people have vision… but NO PLAN to obtain it. You will probably want both of these qualities! It will change the course of your lives together.
(3) Look for FIGHTING qualities, someone who doesn’t easily give up! If you find someone who WON’T QUIT in their pursuits no matter how much discouragement comes, they might also endure in tough times in marriage without pulling the “check-out” switch emotionally. Marriage isn’t easy no matter how much you love one another. Discuss the “fight in you”… the determination… the overcoming. Seek a person who can find a cheerleader deep inside them when no one else is around to cheer.
(4) Long to be with someone who wants to and enjoys solving mysteries — digging into the heart of things that matter to them. Nothing is more amazing than watching someone uncover the keys to their own destiny and eagerly assisting in the interests of others — specifically those things that make people, life and communities better. They will never take NO for an answer. Rather, they will turn up every stone looking for options and answers that bring desired results. No couch potatoes and settlers here! It’s fun being around people who (like innocent children) are not afraid to ask the questions, “WHY OR WHY NOT” and then, with good sense, set out to research and LIVE the godly answers. Living in the “I can do anything I set my mind to in God” mind-set will fill your life with unending possibilities, advaneture and solid, informed options! People like this… love to learn.
(5) Look for INITIATORS. People who initiate things are often strong leaders. What an amazing quality! Dream chasers and successful entrepreneurs have this exciting quality about them. They seldom wait for others to lead, take action… make decisions. In fact, they do not know what “LEFT BEHIND MEANS”… because they will never allow themselves (or their family) to be in that place if at all possible. They are often considerate, thoughtful… and know how to get things going. They will push through frustration and keep knocking until the open door presents itself. In marriage, this quality will save you… and your family when it is immersed and rooted in God’s unrelenting love.
We all know the normal stuff to desire in a spouse…. but these things often go overlooked. Without them, you run the risk of living a life full of misery if you possess any of these qualities yourself. If you are blessed to know God YOUNG and have some maturity in you, listen to some of the wisdom coming from the older generation. It will help you! It might save you from making one of the most life-altering mistakes of your life. And if you already POSSESS these qualities, you might want at least three of them in the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with….
Seek out these qualities EARLY!
