Copyright 2012 Theresa Harvard Johnson (Original Artwork/Mixed Media/Theresa Harvard Johnson)
It could be me standing accused,
feeling ashamed,
as men who don’t know me
slander and curse my name.
It could be my picture, old videos, and transcripts
scattered across the evening news,
being discussed, dissected
and un-relent-lessly skewed.
It could be my family sitting
innocently under the questioning eyes of men,
watching the world throw bricks and stones,
mocking my God and counting my sins.
It could be me realizing,
how quickly good deeds or works fade;
and how a name synonymous for years with charity,
can instantly be regarded with hate.
It could be my mind racing
unceasingly out of control,
struggling to cope with the intensity of pain
running through this soul.
I could be standing isolated
among those who once called me friend;
Not knowing that time forged in brotherhood,
would amount to NOTHING in the end.
But today I’ve made a decision
to let humility be my guide,
promising God to judge no man
in the midst of selfish pride.
Lord, I’m committed to uncovering,
every secret sin within my heart,
recognizing openly that if I don’t,
it will one day rip my life apart.
Whatever secret sin is in me,
please Lord shine your bright light.
Less I fall into temptation,
and make your Gospel clanging cymbals in your sight.
Help me take hold of the promise like Paul,
that my sins are scattered as far as the east is from the west;
and to remain under your cloud of Glory,
which declares that I am blessed.
Help me stand in this posture,
embracing this one simple truth;
that holiness and sanctification is the foundation
of my relationship with you.
I commit to placing no idols
of any kind above your name,
not people, this ministry or merchandise —
or the pursuit of recognition or fame.
I want you to uncover everything
in this heart that separates me from you;
Show me your path, teach me your ways
so that my life is lived in truth.
I pray that you keep me broken,
that I can’t spiral out of control;
asking you to do whatever it takes,
to present this vessel as righteous and whole.
On any given day I’ll run to you,
quick to confess my sin,
Cause I’d rather fall into the hands of ANGRY GOD,
than into the hands of MEN.
I PRAY that I increase in your love,
which is the greatest command that you have given.
So that I will never forget that no matter trial,
this rended heart stands forgiven.
