I’ve always found unity to be challenged by “intermittency” in INTIMATE apostolic mentoring relationships as a leader.
In my holy imagination, I sometimes equate relationships to my Wi-Fi connection in my home office. The connection works wonderfully for a while and then suddenly…. on bad-weather-days or peak times the connection breaks up and then drops. I lost count a long time ago about the number of hours I’ve spent with tech support (time in prayer, following up by reaching out) trying to get that long-standing relationship re-established.
In the Spirit, this is what it might look like when we observe God’s relationship with the Nation of Israel in the Old Covenant; when we look at Christ’s earth-life with His apostles before the resurrection; and what it looks like sometimes with us in our relationships with Christ.
I can also understand what it looks like in our relationships with one another, and in INTIMATE apostolic mentoring relationships from the perspective of the apostolic leader and mentee; and the mentee and apostolic leader.
Maintaining Connection
You see, both sides are responsible for maintaining that strong Wi-Fi connection. The INTIMATE apostolic mentor provides a level of access, but the mentee must take steps to logon, be present… to connect… to remain connected. It is the mentee (student) seeking the mentor (teacher) not the other way around.
By no means does it mean chase, but it does mean to connect with a point of help. This is not because of some hierarchical system, but because the responsibility to learn will always remain on the student – not the teacher. It’s exhausting and impossible for most mentors who mentor multiple people.
Even Jesus said that “whoever is thirsty let him come to me and drink” (John 7). No mentor, who is honored and respected, should ever be placed in a position to hunt down a mentee who claims intimate, up-close mentorship. (Check out my book, Apostolic Mentorship: Critical Tools To Help Identify Your God Ordained Mentor)
INTIMATE apostolic mentorship is give and take — not a forced push and pull.
I’ve learned to open the door wide to those I intimately mentor; but I cannot force anyone to walk through that door. All an INTIMATE mentors can do is leave the door open… and stand at it “in love.” On the same note, INTIMATE mentees should never have to beg their INTIMATE mentor to maintain relationship.
It should be a joy, a desire…. a blessing. It should be a place of understanding…. even when rescheduling must take place.
Life happens.
New Relationship Challenges
Of course, when the mentoring relationship is new, learning to connect can be challenging as both parties learn how the modem and router works within their environment; or how to hook up the various device types for optimum, appropriate use.
I admit, it can be awkward.
I don’t connect to the apps on my Firestick the same way I log-on to websites on my computer. But one thing is sure: Both sides must make the effort within reason to learn how to connect and achieve unity within the application they understand it. They must find their place in relationship through the power of Holy Spirit.
It takes time. In the beginning of relationship, every effort must be made to connect regularly so STRONG CONNECTIONS can be made. Otherwise, a week connection can cause both mentor and mentee to loose connection altogether.
This means that time must be made to connect. (Check out my article, “Honoring Rare Mentors In Your Life)
I’ve learned that relationship building begins with an exploratory phase in which the mentor and mentor learn of one another; and build. It can be a beautiful ministry experience.
Relationship upgrades emerge from those crossroads, points of elevation and new growth in which the relationship may advance through impartation, sometimes adversity, increasing God-centered intimacy, spiritual maturation, respect and honor, and other appropriate growth connectors.
Relationship success really comes when mentor-mentee are able to work through adversity when it comes. God’s love rests here.
Building Relationship Is A Gift
When upgrades fail to occur intermittency can increase, calls drop… and over time the Wi-Fi signal becomes so weak that there is no signal at all. It can be difficult to come back from relationships like that – especially if there was a divine window that was missed.
If INTIMATE mentors are WISE & TRUSTED teachers according to the scriptures, then the mentee should recognize that. (In my book, Apostolic Mentorship, I discuss the importance of defining mentoring expectations on both sides.) If MENTEES are indeed students, then they must posture themselves to be taught. Unity cannot exist without correct positioning. Both are bound by God’s love and precepts.
As a result, connection is REQUIRED not optional. Do whatever is necessary to prevent INTERMITTENCY (spiritual disconnection and poor relationship building) in Christ-centered, INTIMATE mentoring relationships. And most of all, learn to enjoy what is before you… taking full advantage of the resource. If you can’t see it? Ask the Lord to show you.
INTIMATE apostolic mentorship is a gift… not an entitlement. On the same note, leading others is PRIVILEDGE AND HONOR… not a right or entitlement for the mentor. We are gifts to one another not lords over or slaves to others. Both parties are servants.
INTIMATE apostolic mentorship is a tremendous demonstration and continuation of Christ’s love in the earth. (Eph 4)
INTIMATE apostolic mentorship is an amazing part of Christ’s vision for greater works — greater relationship! Christ led so we could follow and duplicate his profound mentoring style in the capacity we are sent. (Luke 9; Matthew 16:24; 1 Cor 1:11)
INTIMATE apostolic mentorship is a continuation of THE MINISTRY OF THE APOSTLES…… that profound grace to multiply and duplicate! (Philippians 4:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:7; 1 Peter 5:3)
Colossians 3: 12-13, “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
