Go slow Theresa… just go slow.
That’s what I told myself when I began that ugly-journey of freedom from rejection. I couldn’t “stop looking” at everything at once – but I could try.
My sick, rejected soul depended on it.
Holy Spirit began teaching me that “coveting” was an EYE/I problem. I had to confront my eyesight… and set it straight by battling it with the “mind of Christ” – knowing that God has won.
Think Jacob and the angel. If you don’t know, he was fighting for his life.
He was literally struggling to BECOME the “Israel” the Lord had always seen. (Read Part I, I Am Not Looking)
A Closer Look at Coveting
The scriptures define coveting as “fixing your eyes on anything whether good or bad” that is not yours and not for you. It is a form of lust… that often goes undetected on most people’s list of sins.
Exodus 20:17 declares, “You shall not covet [that is, SELFISHLY DESIRE AND ATTEMPT TO ACQUIRE] your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Mark 7:21-23 declares, “For from within, OUT OF THE HEART OF MEN, proceed the evil thoughts… deeds of coveting… All these evil things PROCEED FROM WITHIN AND DEFILE A MAN.”
Rejection, a sin of coveting, comes from WITHIN US….
Sorry folks, everything is just not the devil…. most of our struggle is with the twisted, corrupt soul.
As I mentioned before, the rejection in me – though deeply rooted in my spirit and soul – was not an evil spirit that could be cast out. Rather, it was rooted in desperate desire to want something that I did not have – acceptance, belonging and love.
The core of those unmet needs were so great that they manifested in my thoughts, life and behavior in extremely unhealthy ways – knowingly and unknowingly – to manipulatively acquire what I wanted. Rejection can become reflexive, moving in our lives so succinctly and naturally that we cannot always see it.
Rejection is the act of being dismissed or excluded from a situation, environment or even a relationship where a person desired or expected a certain type of reception or acceptance whether actual or imaginary (perceived).
Regardless, to the person being rejected it is a very “real” feeling even when there is absolutely no basis for it.
Receiving Your Freedom
In a cry of desperation one day, I began my process with this simple declaration: “Holy Spirit, alert my soul when it begins looking at things that pull me into rejection! Teach me how to live fully accepted by my Father!”
Choose today to:
1. Recognize that Holy Spirit is at the gate of your soul TO CAUSE YOU TO EXPERIENCE the acceptance of the Lord. When we posture ourselves for freedom, heaven responds with miraculous work. Remember, Holy Spirit is here to help us be accountable to TRUTH inwardly.
2. Place your EXPECTATION on Christ. The trap of rejection places expectation on people. We have to recognize and accept that people are limited in what they can give us – parents, spouses, friends, pastors, leaders, etc. Sometimes, our expectations are too high and often unreasonable. Even more, we must recognize that no one can love us at the level we need like the Lord. When we place people on pedestals, they WILL fall from them… over and over again. There should never be any gods before the true and living God.
3. LOOK toward the highest place of acceptance known to humanity – Christ. This isn’t just a “religious act” – but an earnest pursuit of growing in your love of Christ. Personally, I shed a lot of tears in my journal over the years in raw honesty, and the Lord began speaking back to me. Many things were/can be worked out in those moments. We are commanded repeatedly to keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. There are no other routes to loving ourselves and recognizing these truths for Sons.
4. DELIBERATELY PRACTICE living in acceptance. Daily choose to believe you are accepted by the Lord. Build and love yourself into this reality through renewing your mind in the Word, changing your conversation in the word… and otherwise living an inner life of affirmation. As Holy Spirit alerts you, counter those lies and false beliefs with godly truths. We must take action over our own situation to produce change. We are admonished in the scriptures to train our Spirit.
5. SURROUND YOURSELF with affirming relationships at every opportunity. There’s no such thing as I can’t… because you can. Look for safe spaces! Look for opportunities to free yourself from rejection and take them. Remember, we can do all things assigned to us and for us through Jesus.
6. PUT IN THE WORK! If a person can put in the work to think negatively 24-hours a day then they can put in the work to think positively. Not everyone will be “instantly” delivered. It is often an exchange of beauty for ashes, and involves the rebuilding of ancient ruins. BUILDING OUR INWARD CITY TAKES TIME! Every person, according to the word, must work the works of obedience in their OWN souls/lives.
7. YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUSH YOURSELF TO HEAL. Remember, the Lord is in control… and he is not slow to rescue us. Your circumstances MIGHT NOT CHANGE. The PEOPLE AROUND YOU might not change — but you surely can. God has a way of moving us HIGH ABOVE that rejection… the journey to that place isn’t easy…. but it is WORTH IT. YOU CAN LIVE HIGH in him….as he created us that way.
We do not have to live REJECTED. For the cognizant, capable believer, it’s as much a choice as it is to love God and love others….
